Sunday, December 26, 2010

IST Translation Service

We have just finished testing the BETA version of a new translation module "SpeakIST" which converts cryptic IST posts written in "Happy Face Hieroglyphics" into intelligible statements.

Take this post for example:

Unintelligible IST statement:
how does catv work or poe
or telefone .. or or or .. want a list?
let me tell you this ..
you can have many many
data streams down a single wire .. ;)
Old St.
Nik Tesla
American Troll Society Translation Module output
IST is suggesting that you use "twisted pair high velocity telephone wire to heterodyne a coil" then IST offers to "cut off his hairy Canadian balls and eat them in front of your house on Christmas day."
End of ATS translation

Within Canadian culture, this is worse than a death threat but not as bad as insulting hockey. Here is another translation from a post later in the subject... 

Unintelligible IST statement:
so how about that chrip to a 4 note song .......
wouldnt that be some damm amped output ...
i can do it by adding 1 chip
you will not build it unless you understand it hence the baby steps;8)
American Troll Society Translation Module output
IST is suggesting that the heterodyned signal is multiplied on the spectrum through harmonic resonant sidebands which are magnetically coupled with the superinducting shorted coils that have been energized per the Leedscalnin PMH or Hubbard coil. He goes on to state "...and now produce a superinducting field that has traction through the little bumps of friction created by the heterodyned waves". He finishes by disclosing that "removing the electron sea from inductor causes the atoms to come closer together producing the self sustaining superinductive tunnel which acts like a zero friction magnetic field that can be moved, including, expanded and contracted, compressed and decompressed." Some of the output is fed back in through a light bulb which is acting as the variable resistor in a regenerative amplifier.
End of translation

Animal control has been notified!

Order SpeakIST online here